2015, Uncategorized

“You can hear it in the silence…”

In the complete absence of sound I began to listen and to hear. 2015 has been a year of silence and feeling stagnant. Nothing extreme happened. My mind was loud but words failed to come out. The world felt quieter and my heart was filled with emotion. I could not understand why nothing exciting happened to me and why I led such a boring life? I dyed my hair like every 2 weeks sometimes so there was no way I was boring. I had purple hair twice this year for goodness sake.

Silence is like a river of grace inviting us to leap unafraid into its beckoning depths. It is dark and mysterious in the waters of grace. Yet in the silent darkness we are given new eyes. In the heart of the divine we can see more clearly who we are. We are renewed and cleansed in this river of silence. There are those among you who fear the Great Silence. It is a foreign land to you. Sometimes it is good to leap into the unknown. Practice leaping.


This quote spoke to me and I finally understood that silence is a teacher and it trains you to understand,listen,become more and it teaches you how to be content. I always want better,want more and want something else and I struggle to accept the goodness right in front of me. I am a drama student and as a drama student I should have realised ages ago that this silence was merely a pause that grabs the audiences attention and prepares them for what is to come. Silence/pause acts as an emphasis and puts such power on a word that preceded it or proceeds it. The silence we experience at times is a preparation of greatness.

Silence is ultimately a changing agent as once silence comes into a relationship the relationship either ends or becomes stronger. When you hear nothing from a friend and always have to initiate some sort of conversation the silence from that friend teaches you that change has to come and some people have to go. When silence comes into your life do not see it as if you are invisible or as if the world has forgotten the silence comes as a change agent whether the change will come in your personal life or in the environment around you. Change will come nonetheless.

In Absurd theatre silence was used to represent how meaningless life became and silence made the audience uncomfortable resulting in the audience questioning their everyday life.


Silence is the most powerful scream.



2015, Uncategorized

“a feeble spark, next a flickering flame, then a mighty blaze”

“There I was, cold, isolated and desperate for something I knew I couldn’t have.
A solution. A remedy. Anything.

…I hated it. Alone and confused was the last place I wanted to be.
Somehow I knew I deserved this.”
― Brian Krans


2015 you strange year you. I started 2015 off believing it would be my golden year and that is simply because I was in my last year of high school about to enter the big world. But. I thought that this meant a magical year filled with happiness,delight,friendships galore and not a stress in the world. Turns out that I was the gold put in fire. Purification was my destiny and oh boy purification hurt.

I cried and begged for happiness but I was left in isolation and filled with more confusion than ever. As Brian Krans I wanted a solution,a remedy,anything…But one cannot end the purification mid way. You have to sit it out. When gold is purified “dross” rises to the surface. So when all the mess and hurts and pains in my life rose to the surface I was uber confused as to what is going on. I did nothing wrong. I was in this furnace of confusion to be purified and now this dirt is the only thing people can see? What the actual heck. The process is repeated until no dross appears. Painful eh? Well this was 2015 a year of isolation,confusion and change. Friendships stopped “fitting” and I begun feeling displaced but as the year ends I realise now that I needed the purification and all the seemingly bad things that took place.

Sometimes we see the situation we are put in as unfair and we want the final product without the process and sadly we need to sit through the process otherwise the final product will never come. I wanted to become more “fierce” this year and to be at ease with myself and become a phoenix and a flame. I wanted to be better than I was before and I thought that this year would be better than before but pain is what makes you better. The hurts lead to a beautiful healing. Pain is never unnecessary. Pain changes things and pain improves other things. So the purification was needed and achieved my goal of wanting to be better.


“Which came first, the phoenix or the flame?’
‘Hmm . . . What do you think, Harry?’ said Luna, looking thoughtful.
‘What? Isn’t there just a password?’
‘Oh no, you’ve got to answer a question,’ said Luna.
‘What if you get it wrong?’
‘Well, you have to wait for somebody who gets it right,’ said Luna. ‘That way you learn, you see?’
‘Yeah . . . Trouble is, we can’t really afford to wait for anyone else, Luna.’
‘No, I see what you mean,’ said Luna seriously. ‘Well then, I think the answer is that a circle has no beginning.’
‘Well reasoned,’ said the voice, and the door swung open.”

J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows