Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional and in no way claim to be. This post is purely from my personal experience as mental health is a very individual and complex thing and there is no cookie cut out formula to cure anxiety.
”I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind.”
Today is mental health awareness day and it is vital that awareness is brought to mental health and that the stigma gets removed. I think the most important thing to do is remove the stigma from yourself. Having anxiety is awful but you should not be ashamed about it – it isn’t your fault.
One year ago, today I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and it shook me. It took me three weeks to actively seek help. It took me 13 panic attacks. It took me 9 days of having 3 hours of sleep maximum. It shouldn’t have taken me that long, but it did. It isn’t something you bring on yourself and it isn’t something that should be ignored or brushed off. I am saying it shouldn’t have taken me that long to get help but I like so many others feel shame for being anxious because they feel like they should be better and know better and do better. I am a person who takes failure very harshly and when I kept having panic attacks, being terrified of being places alone, leaving my house being in my house, falling asleep. I felt so pathetic and like a failure and the angrier I got at myself the worse it got.
You need to be gracious. You need to give yourself grace for everything that it happens in your mind and body. If you broke your arm you wont be yelling at yourself for your arm to just fix itself so mental health requires the same respect and sympathy.
Peace is a promise You keep. These are the lyrics that played over and over in my head when I got the diagnosis because I needed to trust that peace would come and that I was not shameful. The thing with anxiety is that those who have never experienced it may think its just nerves and tend to tell people who have anxiety to just calm down or breathe or relax and we know that they mean well but it is not helpful. It has become increasingly more important to learn about mental health, systemic racism, sexism, prejudice as a whole and politics. We cannot live in ignorance anymore and turn a blind eye to people dying, suffering, and crying out for help.
“It’s up to you today to start making healthy choices. Not choices that are just healthy for your body, but healthy for your mind.”
Mental health awareness day is forever a day I will remember as the day my struggle became a word. Today it has been four months of no panic attacks. It has been five months of not struggling to get out of bed due to the fatigue that comes along with anxiety. I know that anxious thoughts are thoughts I need to guard against and over the past year I have learned some of the triggers I face. For those that are experiencing mental health challenges – don’t be afraid to find help so that you can get better and healthier.
Speak to someone you respect and know wants the best for you whether it is someone at church, a psychologist or psychiatrist or a mentor of any sort. Talk to someone. Be open with those you are close to and who you consider part of your support structure – let me know what support you require and when you will require it. I personally wanted nothing to change – I didn’t want people to treat me any differently and required people to not treat me as if I was unable to do things. This was me and if you do struggle to do things you were once phenomenal at it is okay and if you do need help or to take a step back communicate this. It was worse on my mind and was almost a trigger when people would treat me differently or just label me anxious. I had anxiety. I wasn’t anxiety.
“Don’t give in to stigma. A diagnosis does not determine who you are or what you can do!”
Talking to God about anxiety, writing about it, learning about it helped me as well. I discovered people who battled with mental illnesses in the Bible and it empowered me to overcome. I know anxiety is a battle I would need to fight more than once but I am aware of my triggers and I don’t read anything before bed that could upset me. I take much longer to reply to messages (sorry if I haven’t replied to you yet – feel free to triple message!)
If you do need help to get back on board and require a crutch for a period of time talk to a person you respect and let them know and ask them to keep you accountable but do not feel ashamed for requiring a crutch. It will help. It is important to review your diet, your social media intake, your netflixing, your exercise schedule. You are responsible for what you can do and if you need more help above that then get the help and keep being open and honest with this mentor that you choose to journey with.
“The strongest people are those who win battles we know nothing about.”
Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
fierce musings 